I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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