Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize