I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
