Will you blow on my dice?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
