So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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