I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
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Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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