just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
