He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
