I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
