kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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