Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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