He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
