That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
