Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am naked and annoyed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
