its not stalking. its research.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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