What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
