Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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