BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
