At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
