EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We're too hungover to prance.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
