Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
