so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
