wakey wakey hands off snakey
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
me + whiskey = a bad person
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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