I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize