Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize