Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
