Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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