just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
