Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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