Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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