just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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