I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
