the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We left the knife in your bed.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
