So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
