The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize