Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
They are going to name an STD after you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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