if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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