oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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