I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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