its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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