if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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