Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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