ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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