Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
