that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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