Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
