I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I did not marry a roomba.
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