Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
