sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can you bring me the toilet please
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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