no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
