she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
