There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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