I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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