# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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