No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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