YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
