I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
