My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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