was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
